Jeff Iorg Blog
Family Traditions
| Dec 02 2013
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A guest who shared our Thanksgiving meal offered thanks for something that has become more important to me in recent years. When we shared around the table what we were thankful for, she said, “For family traditions.” She shared in the context of a new family tradition we started a few years ago. Ann started using placemats we can write on. Each year, we write something we are grateful for on the placemat. Then, the following year, we read what was written over the past few years and what we have added in the current year. It’s fun, and can be moving, as we reflect on past meals shared together and past expressions of gratitude.
This is an example of an intentionally-created family tradition. We have others – like a “flag cake” on July 4th, what we eat on Christmas morning, and the $20 handshake (don’t ask, you aren’t getting one!). Some traditions, however, just happen. When Melody went off to college, she called home and lamented, “I miss the boys yelling at college football games on TV.” That is definitely a family tradition around the holidays!
Family traditions – created or discovered – are centering experiences that bond us emotionally, give us shared memories, and comfort us when the world has treated us roughly. Family traditions don’t usually cost much money, but pay big dividends by creating healthy relationships and family stability.
There’s a new dynamic we are now discovering. Our family is in the “young adult” phase with married children navigating new family relationships, life demands creating erratic and unpredictable schedules, as well as geographic distance created by our family living around the world. We are creating new traditions, while remembering the old ones fondly. We are embracing the changes, rather than lamenting them. Change, particularly to comfortable family patterns, is sometimes hard – at least it is for us!
Don’t make the mistake of thinking your family traditions are sacrosanct. Adjust as needed to build long-lasting memories now, not just in the past. Make creating traditions as important as preserving them.
A few days ago in a chapel service, the music was particularly focused on the change Jesus has made in our lives. It caused me to wonder – what would my life have been like if I had not committed to following Jesus as Lord?
Honestly answering that question is sobering. When I consider the trajectory of my upbringing, my genetic propensities, and the life-outcomes of many of my friends – it’s not a pretty picture. Why should I assume my choices would have been any different than those made by other people with similar backgrounds and opportunities? I’m no better than anyone else.
Without Jesus, it’s reasonable to assume my life could have been marked by alcoholism, family trauma, and relational conflict. Without going into too many details, that is my lineage and heritage. With Jesus, life has been quite different. He has given me guidance through his Word and the grace to make good choices. As a result, old patterns have been avoided and life has been – in a word – blessed!
As you celebrate Thanksgiving this year, take a few minutes for this spiritual exercise. Reflect on what your life would be like if you had never met Jesus. Then compare that ugly image to your life now. The difference will give you plenty to be grateful for on Thanksgiving!